October Interviews: Felix

What do you remember about your childhood?

Very little. Most of it was spent in prayer. I can recall flashes of my mother… but nothing of substance. I don’t remember her voice, or what she smelled like, or if she ever held me close and told me that she loved me. I remember her mostly being surrounded by men and white powdery drugs, and I don’t think I ever will know what she looked like decently clothed. My memories with High Priest Gwynafor in the temple of Morre are better ones, if not much clearer. But I was happier, then, and I think when you are happy time goes by so quickly that you neglect to collect memories. Or maybe I have reached a point in my age where it is just more difficult to recall events that feel like they happened so long ago that it’s almost like they didn’t happen to you at all.

What’s something no one knows about Pharun?

He can be nice, sometimes. 😀 But in all seriousness – isn’t it easier to list what most people do know about him? He wraps himself up in so much mystery that sometimes even I begin to doubt whether or not the man I love is the “true” Pharun. If I had to pick one possibly little-known fact, I would say that he can be very gentle. There are times when I can see it in the way he holds me … his arms are strong but in the way that makes them sturdy and safe to lean on. And he will kiss me gently… no teeth or tongue to escalate the mood but sweet, soft kisses from firm lips while he keeps me close. He does some things that are sweet… when he gives me gifts that I was not expecting, always something small and sentimental, the kind of things I treasure the most. If I ever doubt myself for loving him… memories of those moments remind me why I can’t live without him.

What’s your fondest memory from your time as a cleric?

I was very fond of the piece and tranquility that life at the temple offered. Most would consider it a mundane existence, but I enjoyed the routine – fulfilling my daily duties, saying my prayers to Morre, studying scrolls and, on the best days, sharing a meal or a few hours of meditation with my mentor Gwynafor. It was a blissful time without complications, I’m not sure I could single out one perfect memory.

How did you feel learning your father was Death?

I was startled, to be sure. I have never consider myself to be a person of much cosmic importance or worth. Mind you, I do not feel as though I am worthless – no one in this world is completely without worth. I just never saw any reason for me to be singled out by someone more powerful or interesting. I also didn’t think it made much sense… after all, don’t children of the divine always display some sort of special quality or talent? I’ve never really had any of those. Compare me to Pharun… and it’s like pointing to the nuthatch and the heron and claiming they were both spawned from the same egg.

What’s the cutest thing Pharun’s ever done?

You know he pretends to hate children, right? He secretly adores them. He was always so kind and playful with the younger clerics at the temple whenever he came around to visit me. More times than I can count, I would catch him pulling sweets out of his pocket to give to them (they were not permitted to have decadent sweets).

Did you ever run into Encarz? What was that like?

Oh, my. Encarz was a man to be admired… that is for certain. I do not think I ever came into contact with him, directly, but I experienced many of Pharun’s memories of him. He did not seem cruel, but he wasn’t kind either, and he had a frigid nature about him that made him come across as absolutely unapproachable. I would not have liked to know him, and if I had I don’t think we would have gotten on very well.

Who besides your husband do you like most in the Mahtrador family?

Oh, I am quite fond of Shrukian. Again, I don’t have many real memories of him (not many that didn’t end in bodily harm, anyway) – but from Pharun’s memories, I have gleaned that there is just … something about him that is undeniably appealing. He is very charming, yes, but very kind and very gentle, also. He can be firm when the situation calls for it but he also loves to laugh and enjoy himself, and in a world as dark as ours those are qualities worth appreciating.

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