Agenda

So, what’s on the agenda for today, Cyrus? I’m glad you asked, audience. After updating this blog I will be finding some way to practice my makeup. Like, you know, I promised myself I would. Then why update your blog first, Cy? Well, it takes, what, two weeks of doing something consistently for it to become a habit? Something like that. At any rate, blogging daily hasn’t become a habit yet. So expect many random, meaningless posts until it does.

Though I do really need to get on that makeup thing. Like… right now.

I’m so lazy some days it ought to be fined.

And would you have thought that I barely own a single article of feminine clothing? Always when you need it…

Thought for the day: Why can’t we stop intelligent people from doing stupid things?

All right. I’m going. I’ve talked to myself on the internet enough. I can do that shit in the mirror. I shall return later with pictures. Until then, audience, I remain…

Your most adored,
C.N. Faust

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Late Night (Early Morning) Adventures and Musings

It is way too late for me to be up posting like this. I even hoped that I might be logged out of my WordPress account, therefore presenting logging in as too much trouble and not worth the effort. No such luck. My browser brought me straight to this page. Dem efficiency. 

As to why I am up at 2:40 in the morning, skyping my fiancee and tweeting almost my entire train of thought (you know, like normal people do, I’m sure), I have no clue. I’m just really restless. My legs hurt like crazy and I can’t seem to lie down for long periods of time without shifting uncomfortably. So I may as well have something to stare. If it can’t be the back of my eyelids, it’s going to be a well-lit screen capable of presenting amusing images for my pleasure. 

So, I had an interesting day today at work. First of all, it was incredibly slow. It’s the end of the month, everyone’s EBT has run out and the cash money spent on heroin and Wild Turkey. So you could have probably had a picnic and a nape between each individual customer. At some point, some well-meaning (I presumed well-meaning, from his non-threatening appearance despite generic white shirt and sagging dark pants) chap walked in and started talking. At least, I think he was trying to form words. It was more along the lines of … 

Chap: *mumble mumble mumble* SHE *mumble* PHONE *mumble mumble* PICTURE? 

Me, decidedly confused and wracking my brain for the “Cyrus to Real World” translator that I keep stashed somewhere in there, parried with the devastatingly clever “?”. 

Chap: *mumble mumble* MAY I BORROW *mumble* PICTURE.

After a few more moments of meticulous translation, we finally deciphered that he was asking me to take a picture of him, his little girl, and his wife/girlfriend. The little girl was really really cute. She even gave me a hug and thanked me for ‘everything’ before it was all over. I wanted to die of a cute overdose. I’m sure it was one of the happiest moments of my life. Though snapping pictures of a family unit that you do not know, on a tiny camera the basics of which you can only presume you know having handled similar technology before, in 100+ weather with people who do not understand the concept of proper lighting can be a real challenge. 

But valiant, gentlemanly integrity thrived strongly in the end. It was a rather decent day at work, all in all, and I think I should pick up shorter shifts more often. I tend to stay in a better mood that way. 

I have promised myself that I am GOING to work on the makeup tomorrow. And I am GOING to promise YOU (my loyal readers, all two of you) that I am going to post pictures to this blog. See? Now I’ve made a promise (two, actually) and I have to keep it (them). I cannot break a promise. I cannot. Or said valiant gentlemanly integrity will have all been for naught.